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• Cecilia
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So after mending my shoes, I proceeded to the National library! I was utterly impressed by the reference library. So I explored my way to the microfilm section, stumbling along the way, asking people for assistance. Sat there studying the microfilms for hours before I went over the printing room.

Well, straits times news on Her birthday was rather... Peaceful. There was a Courtesy Campaign and some political issues on our ex president, Devan Nair. Compared to the articles on my birthday , "4 policeman gang raped prostitute" ; "3boys nabbed arsonist" WTF

I went on to see what happened on my father's birthday. Straits times was only 12pages during his time can!?! I ponder about his life. If I could turn back time. It will not be to amend whatever wrong I did. But probably to observe the life of my dad. It must be really interesting!
Speaking of which, I'm gonna come up with a little poem for him. ( Belated Father's day gift!)

I checked that my fren had World Cup news on her birthday! So nice lor! Even had the straits times noon edition to cover the Finals the previous night!


Oops, that guy caught me snapping them. So I had a copy of her birthday straits times printed. It was already thick even thou I excluded the classifieds man. Classifieds were really funny last time man. You can clearly see how brands were building their image and conveying their values to the consumers. Advertisements like, " Use Toshiba. Reliable. " ; " You can count on HP" HAHA I should've printed one of those man! But inbetween articles, there were advertisements also lah. The 'sense of dressing' were different also. I could still notice the rollover fashion sense from the 70s!



Oh ya, straits times suggested in their advertisement page that someone could pay to take over one page of advertisement then subcontract them out to earn money! How interesting!

So There You Go, BFF!


So I was to prepare a present for BFF. Before that, I Shun Bian went to the cobbler to fix my 'Crocodile' working shoes. It was a nostalgic experience. The last time I remember going to the cobbler was to nail on those metal horseshoe thing and metal pieces onto the bottom of my NPCC boots. Who else still uses the service of cobbler, given the affluent status of Singaporeans!

So Mr Cobbler and I had an interesting chat while he mends my shoes. The 67 year old man was asking if I noticed that he appeared on the newspaper the day before and even told me about how business had dropped after NPCC cadets were no longer required to nail those metal pieces due to people falling and scratching the floor of the school halls. Along the way, he constantly reminds me how alert he still is, and that he doesnt have ' Lao Ren Chi Dai'.




An eventful day with birthday parties and gathering to attend. First it was BFF's birthday then Mel's and late night clubbing with primary school friends. Then Cindy's banquet at kuishin bo the next day. I'm gonna break this down into a few entries cos its too wordy already! So just take note of the timeline. ;P


I was at work with nick today.

This guy guessed I was 17 and nick 23. WAHAHHA

That's frigging 6years younger! WOOT!


SIAN GA LAO SAI,-(huiwen)

This is prolly how I'm feeling these days. Especially when the night falls. It gets especially quiet except the sound of the wind when the vehicles weave past. I need a job to kill time. The cashflow is negative and when you have no woman and money. You feel lonely. I kinda figured a way to brush the loneliness aside already. Prolly need to test it out.

I've been sleeping early at 7plus and then waking and staying up til 3plus 4.
I need late night khakis to roam the streets at night. Unfortunately or rather fortunately, Other than those working now, my frens either sleep early or have curfews to meet.

How GUAI!!

And since Birds of a feather flock together. Thats how Guai I am also.
In fact, I spent too much time at home. I need to prowl the streets. At night. I wanna try shisha (though it is much more toxic than cigarette). I need to check on the merlion. I miss cycling at night. I need to kayak (next week!). I wan to dive. I need to climb. I wish I could draw. I wanna take up photography. I need more cash. I wan to learn.

I need an activity partner. first.

Anyway, I did someth interesting today. HAHAHA
WOW meter: 8.5/10

In total randomness, I'm thinking of building my own wardrobe.
I need a new mattress also! ROARR


Had a great time flying kite and drinking beer with people I least expected.
We should do this more often man! Oh, I meant trying to fly a kite with hole. Woo hoo!

I've gotta list them down before i forget. Mei kuen, Yiheng, Perry, Ashwin, Nicholas, Joon kiat, Benjamin, Perry, Gek ching, Lingxian, Peixuan. Btw, xian spoke more than 2 lines to me. Guess thats what I get when she drinks. Got to make her drink more often, MAN.

Lastly, We need CARS for outing, guys.


ICT was good. Good to be posted back to be reunited with my men. I have lots to say about ict, the training and the men. But I'll skipped cos I have absolutely no idea where to start. Overall it was good to be back. It was a rather good catching up session. I really like my men thou I don show it. Seems like they've all matured after NS. More willing to do stuff compared to NS active days. Thou they complained, but they complained lesser now. I wish to know them better.

The machine looked rather alien to me as I looked upon it in the vehicle shed. Despite being the subject matter expert on the armoured vehicle, operating the vehicle 3days a week, educating the soldiers, passing them everything I know the best I could. I still find it unbelievable how could I absorbed the massive knowledge about how the vehicle operates, maintenance lesson and vehicle drills. The hand signals to start engine, to engage parking brake and to cut off engine all seem so unfamiliar to me now.

The high pitched horn was still as sharp as the engine was turned on. The majestic vehicle roars as the front guide signalled for the driver to move forward. The tracks rolled along with the road wheels, carrying the massive 27tonnes vehicle to the designated position. I know in times of war, we'll have a reliable vehicle to depend on. A competent driver to operate the machine, and a professional gunner sitting right beside me. Most of them, well trained by us. I'm sure their competancy level is not below mine now for we've been out of touch for 3 years.

It felt good. I could sense the relationship between me and the men getting better, as compared to during active days. Like a strict father, I expected alot from them, gave them the harshest training I could. As the best form of welfare is the best training eg safety in armour unit, competency in drills. Obviously, not many of them appreciated this, and I was kinda cursed by them every night. Sometimes I wish I could've been less harsh on them. But I needed to cultivate the right values in them. End of day, I'm sure all of them have become a tougher men under me. They displayed determination,discipline and high endurance/tolerance level.
But most of all I'm glad all of them ord-ed safely.

I'm proud that I'm training along this bunch of guys. =D


AWAY.. for 6days 5nights.
Til then! =D



Lying on my bed, staring at my ceiling and plucking my moustache. Thinking even if they do exist, Is Heaven really up above and Hell below? We prolly imagined it to be up there cos we associate Heaven to beautiful things like the sky. What if... all along, it has been the other way round?

The way to heaven. Genuine People who are not superficial enough to only want beautiful things. Makes perfect sense.

Wait. What if its not up or down.... BUT LEFT OR RIGHT? PFFFT. LOL HAHAHAHAHa


The distracted man cut my ear when he was supposed to cut my hair. 2nd time this is happening. Same incident, different salon. More serious this time. Pfft. It bled profusely for awhile.

Many argued I should have refused payment. But I'm not really those dispute and bargain kind. Since he still had the cheek to stretch out his hand and asked for it, I just had to give it to him. ROARR

Supercut at Novena. ROARRRRRRR


This is impressive. Even I'm impressed by myself. My ideas and thoughts that I once shared with Amanda and friends under the stars in the botanic garden were actually reflected in a book that I've yet to read. Amazingly, the book kinda managed to put 'my'/ those thoughts into words. It's really difficult because you really wanna put it across in a simple to understand way so that people can relate to the concept/idea easier. Its difficult to put concepts/thoughts into words, like how it is from words into action. Imagine you have a set of thinking, which no one concur yet, but in fact, there was actually a theory behind backing your very own theory! Peculiar happenings. I'm starting to wonder if we even think alike.

Next, I wanna talk about the issue of fear and procrastination.
It dawned on me recently that I have a tendency to be irresponsible. Not in that sense. Of course I know I'm fully responsible for myself, my own learning and my life. In fact, I do not deem lightly of the issue for I see the great importance of taking charge of our own lives. To such an extent that I refused to be responsible.. for the life of others. And that probably explains why I hesitate about giving tuition, helping out in leadership programmes and other stuff that may involve others' lives.

In 'that place', we try to 'touch' people's lives. But what position am I in to touch your life when I haven touched my own? Its like teaching one thing and doing another. I wanna be true. to myself and to others. Similarly for tuition. No offence to my frens giving tuition. But personally, in my case, I often wonder who am I to teach you when I cant even help myself out in my own studies! It's such an irony! In other words, I don wanna screw up anyone's life! On the other hand, if I had the chance to inspire you but I didnt. Whose loss will it be? I used to think I was born as a catalyst. To help/facilitate someone to grow in their life. But am I?

I reflected and realised that I've been turning away from my responsibilties. Probably as a fren, son, brother, facilitator, the chance to be a cadet inspector and all other potential responsibilities! I wonder if I should ponder as much; If I was born to ponder. I wonder if I'll ever figure it out.

If you think about it sometimes, you'll probably realise, it may not be wise to think about all this. Afterall, decisions in life and life itself can be pretty insignificant for it has all already somehow been decided. On the contrary, I came across some inspiring lines yesterday, taken from Steve Jobs. I hope it inspires some of you. Goes something like this.

" Life is brilliant in such a way, it invented death. Death clears the old and introduces the new. For now, you are the new but one day, you will be old and cleared away. So cherish the limited times you have and make something out of it. Dont waste it, living someone's elses life. Dont be trapped by dogma which is living the result of other people's thinking. Dont let the noise of other people's opinion drown out your own inner voice. Most importantly, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition cos they somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else. is secondary."

On the sidenote, I think I'm hitting one of my New year resolutions-to be more expressive and rich in emotions. I'm feeling angry, sad, happy, unhappy, happy like every 30mins and the cycle continues. Woo hoo! not too bad~~ Basket, why is this happening.

Ps: Had a good dream last night, HAHAHA right wanping? ;P if you're still reading this.


Had quite an 'open' conversation with Huiwen last night. Something about human behaviours. We can talk until the cow comes home but we arnt changing anything just by talking about it. Pfft. We just have to...Adapt.

Learnt something from Huiwen's blog. Something about her obsessive online shopping.

"well whatever that something is, and immerses it absolutely in floods of superficiality and materialism. which i wholly enjoy in times like these. because they never let you down. or tell you things you don't wanna hear." -from her entry

The lines kinda reflect my perspective about materialism nowadays. I used to think that those who are superficial are... superficial. Maybe materialistic/even posers. But not really nowadays. Afterall, they're one of the only real things you own. When everyone leaves you, your moral values eroded. They're the only things still with you, your possessions.
Furthermore, they aid in impression mangement.

Let me digress a little here. There's nothing wrong with being a man without principles. This may mean that the man is adaptable, react to changes unlike a stuckup man of principles. We all know there is no absolute in life. There's always more than one way to look at things and the way you perceive things changes as the way we think changes. For eg, even the most objective information can be subjective at times while things that are subjective may be objective if we had not read too much into it. It still amazes me at times.
Recently, I change my views about spirits/forces while reading a book.
See what I mean by, rhe only thing constant is change?

I'm sure Cindy will agree with me on this. Working adults work with goals in mind. Something that pushes/motivates them to work even harder. Like the purchases they wanna make, be it a LV or Gucci bag

Speaking of Cindy, who is currently obsessed with the game, dynasty warrior.
We've been typing.. Abit way too weird recently.
Below is a typical format of how our msgs goes nowadays

"wooohooo..! I mean.. Zhuge, I look forward to seeing you at the banquet. The servants of kuishin bo will see to the preparation of the man han quan xi."

"So do I my lord, I propose a toast to celebrate the memorable event. A 3day 2 night banquet."

An example of the many Zhuge Liang-Liubei converastions we're having nowadays. Meanwhile, I'm keeping my fingers crossed. =P

Happy note: Minghui and Manda back from Aussie. *kick* *kick*

I was typing halfway when I noticed the words in the blog werent making any sense. They were just.. lines made up of meaningless words lumped together.

I tot I had grown out of that but realised I've not. Irrational.
Watched 'Taken' in the afternoon. Awesome show with nice buildup throughout the show though the act might have never been feasible. My skeptical mind refused to criticise the show while I escaped from reality, into the imaginery world.

Somehow, I'm having this bad feeling. I don't like it.


It's slowing me down. Like a plague, it attacked and infiltrated/corrupted my mind, then my body. I tried to shake it off but my mind was flooded..
Everything is in slow motion now.. to be continued..

Had my first ever program today, teaching the NCC cadets orienteering. It brought back memories when I was an NCO back in NPCC during secondary school days. There were fond and unpleasant memories. But because the unpleasant ones happened towards the period where we were supposed to step down, the incident magnified 100times and overshadowed the fond memories accumulated over the 4 years. I'd consider myself to be the highest achiever in NPCC back in my unit at that time yet it wasnt pleasant enough. I try not to think about unpleasant things.. And things associated with them.

Many thanks to darran for helping me along this afternoon, guiding me and constantly checking if I'm ok. It was hard on my side, cos the people I was handling, were totally different from the hokkien soldiers I used to handle. I'd say far more fragile, delicate and I was afraid to crush them so I chose to play safe.

I knew I'd be a good instructor ever since NPCC. I even considered teaching cos I loved it so much. But I knew it could've be better even thou it was my first orienteering program but it wasnt. Laugh at me if you want. Despise me. I'm ready to take them all because I know I'll only get better.

It's always interesting to interact with people. Regardless how similar/different they are to you. You see the difference and you learn to interact. You don judge or criticise how good/bad they are just because they're different to you. It's subjective. End of the day, we're all different from one another.

Continue.. I was riding on the bike this morning at 90km/hr. I suddenly slowed down.
My mind went blank.

"Why am I rushing?"
"Why are we always rushing?"
"Where do we rush to in the end?"

I felt accountable to myself and started to think why does me and myself always have different ideas. Why cant we act as one. I then figured that 'me and myself' kind of people actually goes no where in life cos they're constantly moving back and forth. I feel responsible for emotions of people around me. I felt terrified.. of nothing. Not that I'm not terrified. I'm actually freaking out. Things dont make sense anymore. Thoughts jumbled together. There are other questions. I couldnt think about thinking. I lost myself in a whirlpool of thoughts.

I checked my watch, gripped the handlebar tightly before opening the throttle. The bike picked up speed. I refused to think anymore for I was late..for SOMETHING I'm unsure of.


Late night supper at chomp chomp with pearly, ervin, joreen and kevin on monday. Finally had tou hua tang yuan again. Mahjong at pearly's on wednesday. Orienteering Program tomorrow. ARGH.. all the late nights and the program. Sians.

I'm so stressed up during this holiday. I'm sure some of you will be surprised why so stressed even thou its the holidays. But I seriously am. I am pressurised. Life is not just about eat, sleep and play.

Guess this is what yew choon mean by 要求.

ARGH!! ROAR!!


Huiwen showed me a clip. About S factor. I know how retard they make themselves sound like during the show. And all the hoo ha they created on facebook. But do you think the participants are really like that in real life? And Huiwen is so stuck in it!

Personally, I don really like such stupid clips. Not only does it make you stupid, its a waste of time. And yes, stupidity is contagious. And girls reading this, Dont think I dono you girls watch clips where funny girls teaches you how to put on make up. *Roll eyes* I mean if you're watching for the sake of learning, it's fine. But if you're watching to laugh at their funny accent, Snap Out of it!

Back to S factor. People acting stupid to boast their viewership. To increase their profits from commercials. And people actually falling for all this. Laughing in front of the television at home over their stupidity.

Now,who's the more silly one?

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