A beautiful mind

Monday, March 9, 2009

Nerd or Rebel?

I've long forgotten who I am. If you once studied sociology, you'd probably know that theres this me and self . The self refers to an individual person from the perspective of that person. And me refers to the social role that a person play. E.g. As a child, student.

So what I want to say is about the Mr Nice Guy, happy go lucky image I'm holding now.
As carefree and easy-going as I look now, I was once a rebel ... in my own ways. Especially when I was still in my secondary school days. I had yelled at the form teacher, held a petition to kick the teacher out of class(shall talk about this next time), had counseling sessions with numerous teachers. I even had meetings with the principle! But compared to others in the sch, mine wasnt on the priority list for the disciplinary master.

I was probably seen as a rude and problematic student. An unfriendly and 'Dao' classmate to those who were not close to me. Yet at the same time, I was the highest achiever in my CCA at school, Npcc. I participated in numerous camps, helped out in uncountable voluntary sessions.
Until Series of activities started hitting out at me, repeatedly til I got disheartened.

I was a man of emotions and passions who fought for what I believed in. And I mean it literally. (Cos the teacher was kinda kicked out eventually) Kayaking activities on sundays, Npcc on saturdays, lifesaving swim trainings on weekdays, open sea rescue courses and Aikido, I was so occupied yet fulfiled. Now, I rest at home.
With all the free time to think about, it dawned on me, that I should start replanning my life again. Now thinking back, I wondered what changed me. Where did the ambitious heart go. Where was the fire in the stomach.

Perhaps, good kids are more popular, thats why I decided to become one? Or it's cause I know perfectly theres no definite right or wrong in this world for us to argue about? Or it's because I firmly believed in what I believed in, that other people's opinions dont even matter to me?

Can you spot me?